September 30, 2010

Study on “Studies” Used to Push the Liberal Agenda

I recently used my incredible education in statistics and psychology to run a study on other studies. Basically, I asked myself (I’m very smart, and I’m sure that people either agree with me, or they’re idiots) about the plausibility of studies that promote certain liberal pet causes, like abortion, gay adoption, casual sex and single motherhood. I decided that 100% of these studies are tainted by what we in the industry like to call “bias.” Case in point: in December, 2009, many magazines, newspapers, and radio shows tauted a study done by the University of Minnesota which allegedly proved that “casual sex is not more harmful than committed sex.” Since I, as a genius, know that casual sex is very harmful, at least to the poor children conceived by it and then vacuumed out of their mother’s wombs or raised fatherless, I decided to look at this study more carefully. How the study worked: “researchers” (I prefer to think of them as “previously-held-belief-confirmers”) asked 1,311 college students, aged 18-24 about their most recent sexual encounter, their depressive symptoms, and their self-esteem. All 1,311 were sexually active. 1/5 reported that their most recent encounter was casual, while 4/5 reported that it […]
September 25, 2010

My take on Jennifer Aniston’s pregnancy

Just kidding. (She’s not pregnant and I don’t care!)
September 25, 2010

Dangerous Addiction

I don't mean the charming details of life that God plants as clues to the nature of our supernatural existence.
September 19, 2010

Old, Naked, and Beautiful

I started working out at a really fancy gym near my house because with the discount offered to teachers, and all of the free classes included, and the swimming pool, it isn’t that much more expensive than the dinky place further down the road. Before I started working out there, I assumed that it was going to be similar to Lifetime Fitness, a very yuppie gym my husband used to use. I thought there would be lots of young beautiful people strutting their stuff in fitted yoga pants and holding their Starbucks cups, and of course, all of them would look hot no matter what they were doing. Naturally, I would feel inferior because I don’t own yoga pants and I don’t think my uni-thighs would look good in them anyway. In reality, this club is attached to a rehabilitation center for heart patients. At least half of the guests are senior citizens, another third are middle-aged, and the rest are 18-35. In the locker room, rather large elderly women will walk around quite naked as they dry off, use the various┬átoiletries, and S-L-O-W-L-Y get dressed. For probably the first time in my life, I may be the skinniest person […]