Study on “Studies” Used to Push the Liberal Agenda
I recently used my incredible education in statistics and psychology to run a study on other studies. Basically, I asked myself (I’m very smart, and I’m sure that people either agree with me, or they’re idiots) about the plausibility of studies that promote certain liberal pet causes, like abortion, gay adoption, casual sex and single motherhood. I decided that 100% of these studies are tainted by what we in the industry like to call “bias.” Case in point: in December, 2009, many magazines, newspapers, and radio shows tauted a study done by the University of Minnesota which allegedly proved that “casual sex is not more harmful than committed sex.” Since I, as a genius, know that casual sex is very harmful, at least to the...
Read MoreMy take on Jennifer Aniston’s pregnancy
Just kidding. (She’s not pregnant and I don’t care!)
Read MoreDangerous Addiction
I like to start lots of small cooking projects at once for the sake of “efficiency.” I think to myself, “As long as I’m making bread, I could also make cookies while that’s rising and bake them at the same time.” Okay. But then, I think, “I should really use up those tomatoes…why don’t I make pasta sauce? As long as I’m chopping onions, I may as well make tortilla soup. But I’ll have to put away dishes and wash the next load, and then dry them before I start.” And before I know it, “I should run laundry while this is going on, and once the soup starts to simmer, I can vacuum the house. But I should really put away any clutter, dust, and then vacuum.” But really, when do I find time...
Read MoreOld, Naked, and Beautiful
I started working out at a really fancy gym near my house because with the discount offered to teachers, and all of the free classes included, and the swimming pool, it isn’t that much more expensive than the dinky place further down the road. Before I started working out there, I assumed that it was going to be similar to Lifetime Fitness, a very yuppie gym my husband used to use. I thought there would be lots of young beautiful people strutting their stuff in fitted yoga pants and holding their Starbucks cups, and of course, all of them would look hot no matter what they were doing. Naturally, I would feel inferior because I don’t own yoga pants and I don’t think my uni-thighs would look good in them anyway. In reality, this club is attached to...
Read MoreSome Heartache
Tonight my family celebrated a milestone birthday for my grandfather. It was the first time in many years that a party was held in his house, largely because my grandmother has been in decline for so long. It was incredible to see the house well-lit, spotless, and filled with people after many years of dusty, melancholy solitude. Despite my high hopes, it was not a happy night for me. For the umpteenth time, I wandered around a family party feeling like a stranger in a strange land. Most of my attempts at conversation fizzled in this weird “that’s nice, now I’m going to go walk away and talk to anyone but you sort of way”, and given my ability to talk to ANYONE and have a good time, I don’t think it’s because I’m socially...
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