Maybe I’m a Jerk
Maybe other people don’t suck as much as I think they do. Maybe there aren’t very many easy answers, at least in proportion to all the questions. Maybe I need to spend a little less time being a grump, and a little more time focusing on the task at hand. Last week, I had a major insight while sitting at Mass. I was distracted by the poor clothing choices, the poor behavior, the general air of boredom. I go to Mass, and I want it to be this intense, magical, prayerful experience, but I’m so distracted by all of the slobs, skanks, ChrEasters, and the “in late, out early” crowd that I’m halfway through a cardiac event by the consecration. Last week I realized that there will be someone annoying at every single Mass I go to for the...
Read MoreThe SAHM who doesn’t
An interesting phenomenon in the area where I live is the stay-at-home-moms who don’t really stay at home. They don’t earn an income, but they also don’t spend time with their children, care for their own houses, cook, or in any other way act as a mother, a nurturer. In fact, one of my sisters had a babysitting client who was outraged when she couldn’t babysit on the day before Thanksgiving; it was incomprehensible to her that my sister had real physical obligations in my mother’s household, and that she really had to be there. This client had a sitter, either my sister or someone else 6-7 days a week. She had three children. The older two were very hyperactive and starving for affection, and the youngest, a six-month-old, was so...
Read MoreWhat’s a Mother to Do?
I’ve been thinking a lot about the culture wars that rage over motherhood and womanhood. Here’s a conversation I can imagine: Feminist: Women should make the choices they want to make; any choice is fine, although I’ll secretly judge you if you choose to live a life of prayer and service. Women are fulfilled by having great careers and lots and lots of sex. Secular SAHM: That’s true! Except that I just, well, I really feel this is what’s best for my child, right now. I mean, I might do something else later, but for now, this is what I feel is right for us. I’m not saying what’s right for anybody else. Religious SAHM: All children deserve to be cared for by their parents. If people stopped wasting money on luxuries, they might be able to afford to...
Read More10 Things I’ve Done that Surprise the [Expletive Deleted] Out of Me
Thank you to Red Cardigan for the idea. 1.) I got married at 23 and was with child almost instantly. Given that I was committed to a life of independence, or at least a few years of selfish yuppie traveling with my husband, I’m shocked that not only this went down this way, but that it’s been so fantastic. 2.) Decided to become an Almost-Stay-At-Home-Mom. I used to think that I needed a career and two high incomes to be happy. Turns out I need a toddler who likes to wipe his runny nose on my husband’s side of the bed. :) 3.) I assumed that everyone else at my leadership retreat in high school was going to go on to sing the second verse of “This Little Light of Mine.” Apparently not. I sang the whole thing by myself because I don’t...
Read MoreMaking Lemonade out of a Big Heap of Wood
This recipe is absolutely incredible. First, find a free swingset on Craigslist or Freecycle. Second, spend an entire day dismantling and moving it and $20 on a rented truck. Third, move houses and have to move the heap of wood all over again. Fourth, store it in your spider-infested shed all winter. Fifth, lay it out in the grass for a few days. Sixth, attempt to reassemble it, ruing the day you didn’t bother taking a picture, or marking matching ends with color-coded paint splotches, or do anything at all to help you remember what it was supposed to look like. Seventh, wait a few more days, with the wobbly, half-assembled swingset haunting the backyard. Eighth, go to an urban garden, watch a movie on US food centralization, and listen to a book-on-tape about...
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